Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Good morning world, I did not sleep well last night so I apologize if this post is short and/or somewhat confusing.  I had the worst headache of my life, it felt like there was a vise around my head and the pain radiated from my neck to around the head, even behind my eyes.  I don’t know what the cause was but I have a feeling as to where the problem stems from.

Dreams, why is that most of our dreams/goals are controlled by money or lack thereof.  One of my dreams is to learn how to ride horses and then own them.  By of my children have also taken on this dream and they are naturals.  But horses cost money, learning how to ride them, owning them, caring for them, even dressing to ride them.  We prefer western riding to English, not because I’m a country girl, but because I like the freedom that comes with western riding, although I do prefer the boots for English riding.  Another dream of mine is to have another baby, my husband and I didn’t always agree on how many we would have; I wanted four, he wanted two.  About seven years ago he met me in the middle and we agreed on three but again finances reared it’s ugly head.  We need a bigger house to have a room for another child, right now we live in a three level townhouse.  It isn’t big enough for the two children that we have now, it got too small when our daughter started walking, so we started thinking about another house but then my husband lost his job, I have to stay home for our son,  my husband’s new job hasn’t been going well financially and now here I am, almost forty-one and we’re still in the same house.  My biological clock is ticking and we’re no closer to a new house than we were nine years ago.  We also have to get out of debt, which we have been working on and we are getting close, God is good, He has opened doors for us that we never would have seen.  I also have health issues which is playing a part in letting go of my dream to have a baby and where I think the headache came from.  But I am a fighter, I will not go down without a fight and I will not lose faith in God or my dreams.  He made a fighter to prepare me for the obstacles that I have had to overcome in my life and I will not give up.

I also want to say that I want to be at home, I want to work at home, I want to work for myself, I have an issue with authority…lol…I’ve always wanted to own my business.  It was finding the right home-based career that was the problem, also figuring out what I wanted to do was a hurdle.  I’ve figured out what I want to do, now I have to figure out how to get there.  Blogging is a foot in the door, I hope.

Well, have a great day and we will talk again tomorrow and I hope the conversation will be lighter and more fun.

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