Let’s chat over tea about…a love letter to my body,
As I stood in front of the mirror at the sweet age of fifteen, I recalled the words that were spoken over me by the people who were supposed to build me up and love me…You’re ugly, you’re too skinny, pizza face because of the acne covering my face, your hair is too red, you have too many freckles, no man will ever love you because of the way you look.
As you changed, giving me two beautiful children when the doctors, the “experts”, said you couldn’t and although I abused you explaining it away as comfort food, you kept my babies safe. You warded off from my perfect baby girl, a life of diabetes. I’ve made you overweight, obese, if I could just get my butt off the couch and exercise I could bring back the you of my youth…thin, perfect, perky, no acne, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound, if I could just look in the mirror naked and exposed and just whisper, “I love you.”
I’ve let you down not keeping you healthy, being complacent and not appreciating your beauty with all your dimples in the wrong places, rolls, sagging, round face and even now the occasional zit or blackhead which I have been obsessed about keeping in control because I will not be a pizza face again and having my makeup perfect and on every day because I have to and I’m sorry.
One day when I was standing in front of the mirror after God, my blessed creator had saved me and placed me in a home where I would be loved and uplifted, my grandparents who love my Creator…I said, as said every morning, “I hate you” my grandmother said to me, “Lisa, you are calling God a liar.” I of course looked at her with all the indignation that a sixteen-year-old you could muster, and she then said, “when I say to you, my body, that I hate you, you are calling God a liar and that He made a mistake in creating you and that God doesn’t make junk.
So to my body I can now say, “I love you” with all honesty and conviction because, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139: 13 & 14. I AM beautiful and perfect and God doesn’t make junk.