Things Lost but Not Forgotten: February 6, 2015

Hello, let’s chat over tea about…a piece of my childhood that has affected me up until two weeks ago but that is another story for another time…this piece is about a doll, but not just any doll, you see I was never interested in dolls: not Barbie, not burping dolls, peeing dolls, not dolls with blonde hair, blue eyes, pretty shoes or dresses; I wanted a doll with long, curly, red hair, that stood three feet tall, with a blue Victorian dress, black boots and she could walk. Her name was Mimi and I wanted her for Christmas, I can’t tell you how old I was, probably eight or nine, and as my parents didn’t have a lot of money the chances of me getting her for Christmas were slim to none. We, my brother, sister and I always received a stocking and one big present for Christmas and this particular Christmas I wanted Mimi. I can’t tell you where I saw her, probably a commercial, but I couldn’t forget her and I begged my parents to buy her for me. 

Christmas morning arrived and as usual my sister, Becky, was up at the crack of dawn and was shaking me and telling me it was Christmas morning but our parents told me that we were not allowed out of bed until 8AM but we were allowed to open our stockings, so Becky and I started going through our stockings. I knew that there was always a book in mine so I had something to keep me occupied until Mom and Dad woke up and I could keep Becky occupied until then. Although we weren’t supposed to be out of bed before eight, Becky and I would creep into the livingroom and check out the Christmas presents, see the one for me and for her and shake them a little. I found mine but when I shook it, it didn’t make any noise and Becky couldn’t find hers so we went back to our room and waited. Finally, eight o’clock rolled around and Becky and I went tearing into the livingroom, jumping up and down, waiting expectantly for our Christmas presents and the joy and excitement they would bring.

Mom and Dad came out of their room and told Becky to close her eyes so obviously she was getting her present first…they came out of their room with the biggest stuffed animal I had ever seen, they placed it in Becky’s arms and when she opened her eyes she was holding a GIANT Koala bear which was as big as she as…honestly massive. She snuggled and cuddled with that bear all day, never letting HIM out of her sight and she named him…Tweezer who was brown, with a black nose and white tummy and she loved him so much that he became her favourite of all her stuffed animals. I don’t remember what Matthew, my brother, received but I remember that he was happy and then it was my turn…I ripped the paper off the box, I’m still to this day a ripper, I don’t take my time, I just tear into the wrapping…anyway, I tore off all the paper and there she was…Mimi, the beautiful, redheaded doll that I so desperately desired and she was all mine. I took her out of the box and cradled her in my arms, it was up until that point, the happiest day of my life. I don’t have any pictures of her but she was perfect, did I mention she walked with my help of course? 

After my mom left, we moved around a lot, I think we moved twice after my dad married my first stepmother. When I went to live my mom and stepdad I was only able to bring what I could carry in a garbage bag…to this day I don’t have a suitcase of my own, however I do have a few funky carry-on bags…I forgot to grab to Mimi because it was the middle of the night and my dad pulled me out of bed. My dad left Joan, my first stepmother, a few times before he left for good but by that time I was living with my grandparents and when he left her, he left everything belonging to him, me, Matthew and Becky behind. Somehow, Becky had managed to bring all her stuffed animals with her, including Tweezer, but I know that eventually she lost him too.

For some of us, losing things, precious belongings like dolls and books; I had the complete Nancy Drew series; losing belongings is just a part of our childhood. I did manage to hang on to a Holly Hobby that was given to me for Christmas when I was eight or nine and I still have her. What I have learned is that leaving behind precious belongings stays with us forever, the loss of these treasures will never be forgotten because although we forget the hurt and pain of our childhood, we don’t forget the things that we hugged in the night and clung to when things got scary. They will always be with us, lost but never forgotten.

Have a good evening and Monday we’ll chat over tea about,,. 

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