Hey everybody, let’s chat over tea about…that moment when the battle for who God wants me to be and who I’m breaking free from; someone who was broken, fearful, lost, and deceived. I believed lies about who I am and who I was destined to be, I fell into complacency forgetting who I was; an athlete, a girl, a conqueror, a fighter, a writer. I have been making it to the gym two to three times a week when I need to be there at least four times a week because I kept hearing those voices in my head telling me I was too tired, I had other things to do around the house, not able to leave Katarina home alone and I had gone yesterday. But the truth is, I need to go to be healthy, to achieve my goal of learning how to surf and kayak, to find the athlete that got lost in the weight and to be how God sees me again.
I haven’t been to the gym this week yet but last week when went with Jonathan. I made it through my sets on my first weight machine and as I moved on to the next machine, the panic got worse, the battle for my health got worse and I started to cry…yes, cry, in the gym, so I put my head down and did some deep breathing and the panic would subside until I moved on the my next machine and then it would start up again. This continued until I got to my cardio but I was so spent from all the emotions that I was only able to do ten minutes and then I had to stop. It was discouraging that I couldn’t do more but the fact that I pushed through the panic and fear and finished my weight training was a huge hurdle for me.
Now, you’re probably wondering why I experienced panic and fear doing something so simple as training and exercising but the reality is that my health and fitness is a spiritual battle for me as much as a need for me to be healthy…Satan doesn’t want me to be healthy and fit, he wants me to be complacent, he wants me to be unhealthy and overweight and why do you ask? because if I am fit and healthy physically, then I am fit and healthy emotionally and that is what he doesn’t want because he loses. I can’t be the person God destined me to be, a mom, wife, friend, sister and daughter who loves herself and lives joyfully everday; a woman who wants to serve her Father and Saviour; a woman who can share her story with confidence and conviction; a woman who knows who she is!!!!
I want to share my progress with you this far: I play tennis every morning with Katarina unless one of us is sick or it’s Sunday, we played for forty-five minutes this morning; I am going to the gym with Jonathan later this morning where I will weight train for an hour and then do my cardio on the treadmill for twenty minutes. I didn’t weigh myself this morning because I weigh myself once a week instead of every day so as to avoid disappointment when my weight fluctuates. However, I have noticed changes in my size as well as how my clothes fit. My last weigh in I was at 177lbs.
I am feeling better when I climb stairs or run around on the tennis court, I’m not as winded and I can play longer. I am still aiming for my goal to learn how to surf at the end of summer, probably the last week of August and I am going to try paddle boarding in a few weeks. I will take pictures and I have to buy a new bathing suit which will be fun.
So, have a great day, I will be writing everyday again and I’m sorry that I have been inconsistent lately but I didn’t renovate my blog again and I hope you like it. That is all for today and tomorrow we will chat over tea about…